Mimi's confused.

And she's in the hospital. Life is such a brutally predictable thing sometimes.

Mimi got sick about 2 years ago. She got a staff infection throughout her whole body and nearly died. She recovered, but just barely. She went from being 72 years old and working full time, blowin' and goin', to flat on her back in about 2 seconds flat. And she's been that way for over 2 years now. It seems like it's been touch and go this whole time. And now mom says that Mimi knows she's dying and it's almost time. She's been getting really confused about things lately and this morning she checked into the hospital because she isn't keeping any food down in her 90 lb body. I talked to her yesterday on the phone and she sounded like the chipper chicken she usually is, but apparently that is not the case.

I feel very sad, because I love her so much and she has been such a constant in my life. But I also feel like I've been grieving for the last two years. The mimi I grew up with and knew left when she got sick. She's still here, but she's not the same. She hasn't been. And she's been in excruciating pain for the last couple of years. I'm ready for that to be over for her. She's led an interesting, successful and very full life. I will name my first daughter after her, that's already been decided. And now I just feel like it's a waiting game, and I hate that. For all of us.