Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tim Tebow Let the Dogs Out. (A conversation with the Cochrans)

Alone, at home, on a Thursday night. This is generally how it goes over drinks...

A: Really, 100% of all women secretly want to be a stripper for a day??? ALL??

P: Well at least 45 and under do for sure!

A: 45 and under, RIIIGHT! If I have to hear one more conversation between your parents involving getting naked together...

P: So much for you stripping for me tonight again! I'm gonna go make me another drink and try and get that visual out of my head.

A: Hey, it's YOUR parentS-- not my fault!! OK. Here's a joke for you. Stop me if you've heard this one. What does Tim Tebow do when life hands him lemons??

P: Yeah that would be "Kill terrorists" right? Tim Tebow is passing up his last year of eligibility and going straight to heaven.

A: Yeah, and superman wears Tim Tebow's cape! Did you know that??

P: I'm over Tebow and Romo. What happened to the good old days when The Cowboys were good, OU earned their way around College Football and The Lost Trailers didn't suck???

A: Well, Wade Phillips is either gonna have to step up or hit the road. Maybe OU's gotta case of the Hollywoods and it's gone to their heads, and the Lost Trailer's effed up when they voted Stokes out as the lead singer and started workin' with the "Dust on the Bottle" guy. Seriously. Welcome to the Woods is as good as it gets. Anyway. How come our neighbors are such lame asses?

P: Maybe they're happy that way. I bet there isn't a bottle of Jager within 2 miles of our house. I bet they'd say we don't have to drink to have a good time, be happy, blah blah blah.

A: Um, that's doubtful. That's usually the argument made by fundamentalist religous people. I'm pretty sure the lady next door is a lesbian. So we can mark her down for definitely not being in that group. I think maybe we're just hermits. We're so into each other we don't need neighbors. :) Right??

P: F the neighbors and the Sean Hannity America hating fundamentalists. If we hung out with them i'd just piss them off with my sailor mouth and tattoos.

A: I know. That's why I married you. :) Ok, honey. THAT is funny. (Poncho just showed me a video. Everybody else, watch this.) I'm gonna say "fisting" wasn't the word she was looking for. Maybe "fist PUMPING"??

P: Fist pumping or fisting-- it's all the same for me! Thats just kinky as hell! I always called it Taters. But hey some people don't have a clue that it even exists.

A: Taters?? I'm confused. Fried foods and fisting? I don't understand. Fried foods don't seem conducive to doing anything that requires having your butt exposed. :) But anyway, change of subject. So work. Let's talk about work. You're working at Carswell right now and you get to see the F-16's doing air show tricks? I'm sorry they're so loud they keep you from taking your nap. :)

P: Yeah at lunch I like to eat my sandwich in my truck while listening to The Ticket and crash for about 30 minutes. This week Goose and Maverick have decided to show off every day literally right over my truck. And that crap is LOUD. It was cool the first 2 days they did it. Now it's just messing my nap time up.

(Intermitent side conversation leads to...)

A: Stephen Kellogg is NOT comparable to a Secondhand Serenade show. Give me a BREAK!! If you wanna fight, we'll fight. Ok. The dude's at the Hi Lo in the drag show are not NEARLY as gay as Stephen Kellogg. Ryin. Please chastise him.

P: I dig both Secondhand and Stephen's stuff but live??? They suck balls. And yes he is gayer than a drag show at the HI LO. I've been to plenty of drag shows and i've never felt as gay as being at a Kellogg show. Crucify me! That's the gospel!

A: Let me clarify. You've been to ONE drag show and it was because i DRAGGED you there. And btw, everyone should frequent drag shows, especially at the Hi Lo on Classen in OKC. Don't act like you're grossed out or above it. Take a stack of one's with you, and GUARANTEED, best night of your life. It is SUPER fun and even Poncho was stuffing dollar bill's in the girl's dresses by the end of the night. It's great!! :)

P: you no sabe ingles??? It's not the drag show i had a problem with. I actually dug the 3 times i've been. NOT ONE. It was the Kellogg show that was really gay. I dig his music but live he's gay. I've seen and liked gay and he's not my style of gay. Wait did that come out right???

A: Fabulous. My husband has a style of gay. Good to know. Glad to put that out on the table early on in the show. I'm sure we can find a way around it as long as you keep depositin' that cash in my bank account every week. :)

P: Damn am I the guy who turns gay after years and years of mastering tongue movements on the clitoris??? I don't know i'm confused, no?

A: Ok. Couple time over. Poncho's officially banned from the blog. **In my best Alice in Wonderland voice** GoodNESS! At least he used proper terminology! Good lord. I'm a little flustered now.

Okay, we've covered Poncho's parent's sex life, Tim Tebow, the Sooner's, a couple of bands, Top Gun, drag queens, and oral sex. I'm so sorry. Wait. I don't have to apologize anymore. I'm married!! :)

Such is life in suburbia. Tomorrow's friday. Have a fabulous day. Do something fun this weekend.

Peace out boy scouts.

P: She likes it when I spell her name forward then backwards with my tongue! Ha! ADIOS!