Black & Blue

Good news came in the mail yesterday. Thank you very much, posty! P walked into the house beaming from ear to ear holding a manila envelope that effectively turned our lives back to normal after seven long months of financial hell with one stroke of a pen from some judge in a county far away that we've never even met. In this country in relation to our government I think we've learned not to expect apologies, but we've learned to be happy with progress toward normalcy-- in whatever form that might come. And I'm too tired to be angry about it anyway.

Needless to say, it was a very happy night in our household. It's been kind of awkward the last seven months. Stressful, yes. Constant stress with the checking accounts, but mom and friends always asked, How are you guys doing? My response was always, WE'RE fine. Our relationship is great. Everything else sucks. Stupid money! Then the last few weeks, our relationship was going the way of the rocks and it was NOT good. Too much tension, too many conflicting emotions, and no clear answers to anything. We both ended up in tears out on the patio in the middle of the night hashing our way through it. There were words like I'm-holding-you-back-and-dragging-you-down and I-don't-know-what-to-do and But-I-love-you-I'm-not-going-anywhere-EVER. And we went to bed tired, but a little stronger in our resolve, I think. At least I did.

Then we got the Good News and the fog started lifting on Hillside Lane. We're not out of the woods just yet, but it's getting very, very close. P looked at me last night and said, I can't believe we just survived the last seven months. I said really? Surviving. It's what I do. I'm nearly a pro. Someone should pay me. HA! Smaller storms would've taken down bigger ships, I assure you. But again, I always come back to this: Dad always told me, you don't like how it is today? Just wait til tomorrow. It'll change. It may not be better (he said with a smile), but it'll change for sure. And you can put it in stone. It's true. This is why I've learned to not give up even when you really, really want to. Things are going to change.

Then I walked out the front door this morning and saw this butterfly on one of our hedges. And I thought, I've never lived in a house with pretty butterflies before. And then I looked more closely and noticed its colors. Huh. Apropos!

It's black and blue, but it's beautiful! :)