The Anticlimax

What in the world.

These last few days have been one huge ridiculous whirlwind.

So our realtor calls and says, I don't mean to freak you out, but could you close a week early, as in Monday night? And I'm all, uhhh, hmm. No. I don't think so. I have parent teacher conferences on Monday and if I miss them, I will be gradually pulling every strand of fabulous hair out of my head because those children are out of control and I haven't made a connection with their parents. Monday night is a no can do.

She says, Ok. No big deal. Friday it is. So I sleep on it. And I wake up the next morning and I say to myself, I'm going to have to take a day off either way you look at it. Why not Monday? So I call the realtor and say if we can do it Monday during the day, we're in.

She says, Ok. I'll let you know. Then I really super start hoping we can close on Monday because that will give us a WHOLE week to get some painting and stuff done before the Bob's converge on us to redo the wood floors. Then the realtor calls back and says, Nevermind. Monday is a no can do. We're back on for Friday. Ugh. Ok.

Then the second I get off the phone with her, I get a text message from my mom that reads: "I just found out Poppa was married to someone else before Mimi. Want to do some research?"

Umm. WHAT? So I immediately call her back and don't even take time to say hello and I just blurt out WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON. And she says, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. So it turns out the trust fund manager from my grandparent's estate has run some sort of query and come up with some super old life insurance policy that was taken out in my grandfather's name in 1948, the beneficiary of which was someone OTHER than my grandmother. That someone was identified as his spouse. He would have been 16.

DON'T TELL ME MY WHITE, SOUTHERN, UBER-CONSERVATIVE, SLIGHTLY RACIST, AND VEHEMENTLY CHRISTIAN BAPTIST DEACON GRANDFATHER KNOCKED UP SOME CHICK WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER AND HAD A SHOTGUN WEDDING NONE OF US KNEW ABOUT. Don't. Tell. Me. That.

Of course we could only speculate as to what the meaning of all this was. All we had was a couple of names and birthdates. So I did some research online and found this mysterious lady, who is still living, and is MARRIED TO A MAN WITH THE EXACT SAME NAME as my deceased grandfather. Oh thank God. This has to have been some sort of mix up. So just to make sure, I call down to public records in Arkansas in the county they would have been married in and ask them to search all the marriage licenses from 1946-1949. There were none to be found in my grandfathers name.

OK thank you. The world as I knew it was about to be turned upside down. Well, not really, but you know. That would've been just creepy. So this worked out much better for all of us. Except for maybe the alleged ex-wife. She could've stood to gain some cold hard cash. But it's bogus, so that's out.

Anywho. It's been a rollercoaster of a week and I need a margarita. So I'm about to head out to dinner with the hubs. And tomorrow, I'll get to packin up the house. Probably.