Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Growing Up

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Lessons come the hard way sometimes. Well, they have most of my life anyway. I'm in the throes of writing a book. A book about me. About my life. A book that shares my experiences and lays it all on the line. And it's for one reason and one reason only. Because it will help people. I don't think it will. I know it will. The are thousands of girls all over this country who have faced the same struggles i have throughout my life. It's my hope that they can find strength and courage through the things I've been through because I came out the other side a changed person and a better person.

Some people closest to me don't understand it. It's like when they see the real me in black and white on the page, they don't know me anymore. And somehow it feels personal to them in a very, very negative way. Like just because I'm not the person they thought they knew, or the person they wanted me to be, that I've somehow failed them. And it feels like just another unmet expectation in my life. And that's what the book is about. You wanted me to be someone else. You wanted me to believe something else. You wanted me to write pretty words and keep the peace. But that's not me and that's not what this is about.

This is my story. This is my experience. It's about me. It's my perspective. All I can say is if you have a different view, please, write your book. I'm aiming to help. And that's at the forefront of my mind when I sit down to write. I don't sensationalize. It's my personal truth the way I experienced it first hand.

And thank God I have my husband to encourage me and keep me grounded. I've spent the better part of my nearly 30 years trying to please everyone. This book lays it all out. And it won't be just another victim of unmet expectations. It's a good story. It's worthy to be told-- the good, the bad, and even the not so flattering. Even if not everyone agrees. I am a competent individual who can help. And I'm going to do it the best way I know how.

And that is all.


tomorrowsmemoriesphotography said...

I am so stinkin' proud of you girl!
I can't wait to buy a few copies!

Love you!

Mrs. Daisy Girl said...

Thank you, Mary!! Today was an exceptionally awesome day with a realllly tough ending. Very weird. But I'll take the bad as long as it comes along with the good. :)

angela franco said...

I am not a big reader but I will buy your book and read it! I want to see what makes miss ashly tick.