Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Babies, babies everywhere and not a drop to drink!

And that's the truth! At least for what seems like an overwhelming number of my friends right now.

P and I have had the baby conversation ever since we started talking seriously about committing to each other in a relationship. Of course it was something that needed to be discussed from the very beginning as he has two children already, not grown, but well on their way to adulthood. I'm a good ten years younger than P and have no children of my own. So it was a conversation that needed to happen very early on in our relationship. As you could imagine, if we had significantly differing views on having more children, that would be a deal breaker. So from the very beginning, P took the stance, "I'm not out to have more babies, just for the sake of having more babies. However, if it makes you happy to have a baby, we'll do it and I'll be more than happy going through the experience with you and being the dad of a little one again." So we talked about it. When should we do it? When will the timing be right? Is there right timing? I'm starting to come around to the idea that if we keep waiting, we'll always be waiting because there will always be something that could be better as far as timing goes. But P says, "Look at how things have gone since we first got together. It seems like every year things get just a little bit better, especially financially. What's one more year?"

And maybe it's the springtime but it seems like there are babies popping up everywhere? Two of my good friends are with child and just recently, actually within the last 2 days, P found out 2 of his good friend's wives are pregnant. This is a big deal for P. He's got this thing in his head that says 40 is too old to have a baby. And now with two of his friends close to the same age having babies, it eases the anxiety a little. But I do understand. He's got one about to start her senior year in high school. And now he'd be starting all over again.

But I'm also taking a lesson from my mother. Her mother is in her seventies and dying and recently they have had conversations about what each of them would like to have done differently in their lives. And today is mom's 50th birthday. I have such a young mother for my age! :) She told me a few days ago that there are lots of things in her life she'd still like to do. Experiences she's never had that she wants to have. So no more waiting. She making plans and marking her calendar. It's time to start doing.

I'll be 30 in 5 months. I have a fabulous career that offers more flexibility than most. I have an amazing marriage. While we're not wealthy by any means, we make plenty of money and do pretty well with what we have. But we will always find a reason to wait. We could be making more money. We could be more financially stable. What's one more year?

We're both such anxious people. At some point, one of us is going to have to jump!

But in the meantime, we'll just be reallllly happy for all of our friend's new found happiness... and sleepiness... and brand new family members. Congrats to all of them!


safronified said...

Hubs is almost 40, albeit he doesn't have children already. P's good for round two.

If all else fails, just don't worry about it and let it happen. If it doesn't happen, no biggie, but if it does, you'll have fun.

Or at least that's the stance we took/are taking.

Kuenys said...

our stance...there was ALWAYS something that told us to hold off. in the long run, there is never a totally good time. you just have to do it and your life will adjust around that little one in due time!