Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Maybe it's a good sign?

So Panhandleman has inspired me. I've always been fascinated with the subject of dreams. And my fascination was only made more intense when I took an incredible psychological dream interpretation class during undergrad. I learned things in that class that made everything click. Things were coming into focus and I was figuring out why I kept having several reoccurring dreams I'd had most of my life.

I used to have dreams about all my friends in junior high. I'd have a dream that involved them at least once a week for about ten years. We were all there, me and my BFF's, and we were all the same age. In the dreams, we'd be doing different things, but all of them would always be there. After about ten years, I figured out why I kept having dreams about them, and it had to do with the fact that my relationship with them ended extremely abruptly-- as in one day I was with them and then the next day I learned I'd probably never see them again in my life, and most of them, I never did. This is traumatic for a 14 year old. So I had very vivid dreams about all of them for the next ten years. Until the professor in this class suggested we explore our reoccurring dreams, figure out why we're having them, then make memorials to them to put them to rest. And the memorial was just a symbolic act-- a letter, going to a significant place, or some other act that symbolized the letting go. So I did that. I wrote a letter telling all of my junior high friends I missed them and I was sorry for not getting to say goodbye. And I haven't had the dream since.

But I still have one reoccurring dream which seems to be brought on by stress-- the one where my car gets stolen and my cell phone falls apart so I can't call for help. I've had this dream for at least twelve years. The characters change, but the plot is 100% the same every single time. I come out from wherever I happen to be, my car is not where I left it, I panic and reach for my phone to call the significant male in my life for help (dad/boyfriend/husband), but the phone falls apart in my hand/dials different numbers than the ones I push/just doesn't work at all. I run around frantically asking people for help, but no one seems to be able to help. And then I wake up.

But night before last, I got a different ending-- and a very interesting one, I might add. I walked out of some place like the mall to find my car was gone. I panicked. I reached into my purse to find my phone to call my husband. My phone was gone. I started running around the parking lot asking anyone if they'd seen my car. Everyone looked at me with blank stares. I was getting more desperate by the second. Then out walks P through the bank of glass doors at the entrance to the mall. He strides up to me and says, "What in the world is wrong?" And I tell him someone's stolen my car. He laughs and says, "Honey, I took it in to get it repaired and we're going to go pick it up in a couple of hours."

I'm so relieved that I don't even think to kick him in the nuts for not telling me he took my car somewhere without telling me causing me to freak out that someone had stolen it. I'm just happy it's not stolen and everything is okay.

But this is the first time I've ever had this dream where my car has actually been okay. It's the first time it hasn't actually been stolen. And even more significantly, it's the first time the man I was trying to reach was actually there and I didn't even have to use stupid phone that never works anyway!

What does it mean... what does it mean?


Anonymous said...

It means you're finally starting to trust an ol' boy like myself:) and sorry about that dream but I think I had sent you a text to let you know I put the car in the shop. So try and keep up with your phone honey:)

Ashly said...

I love you. :)

Anonymous said...

Ponchie is a good man, Ash... You better keep him...

Lil Sexy...